The direction of my attention is to continuously grow my skills for whatever I am passionate about. As I grew up, I was always fascinated by all the cool content that people create for the world. But I didn’t have any of the skills to create my own cool content. During my childhood days, I remember that I would always think about how incredible a new song sounds or how fun it is to play a high quality video game. I wouldn’t even think about my chances of creating my own song, video game, movie, or any other kind of content. I just assumed that it was nearly impossible for me to create something as good as the other creations which already exist, so what was the point?
It wasn’t until my final years in high school that I began taking a different perspective to content creating. Instead of imagining how cool it would be to create high quality videos, websites, music, etc, I began taking action for the topics I became fascinated with and researched how to replicate what other people have done. Although I lacked a great amount of information needed to create high quality content, I was more focused on how my skills improved one day compared to the days prior. It is exciting to see improved results for whatever I am practicing because even though other people may think my creations are low quality, I know that what I make now will always be better than what I was able to make before. I shifted my perspective from constantly worrying about what other people would think about my creations to instead focus on what I think about my creations.
Studying Computer Science is a good example for my new direction of attention which shapes my integrity. Instead of worrying about what people will think about a low quality website I make, I focus on what I think about my website. Was I able to use a new tool that I never used before? Did I improve my skills using a specific coding language I have been practicing? Do the projects I make these days look better than the ones I made when I first started making projects? By focusing on the more important questions that can actually help improve my skills, I am able to consistently improve my knowledge and ability to create even better content later on.
If I were to instead focus on all the questions that aren’t as beneficial to my growth, I would be stuck in a loop of confusion and uncertainty as to how I can improve myself. What if nobody likes what I made? Other people have already created similar and better content than what I made, what is the point of making it if they already did it? These are the questions that I would ask myself when I was younger, but asking these questions have never benefited me in any way compared to the questions I ask myself now.
I am also thankful for this shift in my direction of attention because not only does it change how I view myself when creating content, it changes how I view other people who create content. Instead of blindly judging someone’s video or website based on my first impressions, I begin considering how much effort the individual must have put into their content. How could such simple movies become iconic films? What did the individual do in order to gain the skill he or she holds? What can I do to make cool content like that person?
This change in my direction of attention gradually built up my integrity, focusing on improving my own skill as well as how I perceive and approach other peoples’ skills. My experiences during this change would be best described as humbling. I am becoming comfortable admitting my flaws to the world instead of hiding them in order to become more appealing. I feel that lying to the world was the same as lying to myself, and the only way to strengthen my relationship with myself is to build stronger relationships with other individuals who share my interests.
